Man Oh Man, Pastor Manning: The Real Uncle Ruckus

I'm back from hiatus (LOL), but first and foremost I would encourage everyone to take a look at my brother's blog at http://www.kingdomson3.blogspot.com/. While my blog is entertaining, his probably has something you NEED. Now, on to today's post.

I'm sure everyone out there has either read the Boondocks comic strip or seen the show on Cartoon Network and if you haven't then shame on you. One of the main characters is a self-loathing black guy who hates everything Black. Calling him a sell-out would be a gross understatement as he goes so far to convince himself that he's truly a white man (even though his skin is black as night) suffering from a case of "re-vitoligo" which he states is "the opposite of what Michael Jackson got." Obviously the creator of the Boondocks, Aaron McGruder uses this extremely outlandish and crass character as an avenue to make a commentary on blacks who hate themselves and let that hate dictate what they say, how they act, and how they think.

Unfortunately...we have been blessed with the presence of a real live Uncle Ruckus, who is so outrageous that he makes you wonder aloud if he's indeed serious about what he says (he is). His main target (arch nemesis) is none other than Barack Obama and his wife Michelle (whom he refers to as Jezebel on more than one occasion). He believes Obama to be the anti-Christ and the product of a "white trashy mother". All the more surprising (or may be not) is that Manning spews his "ridiculosity" from the pulpit of his own church (cult). He took it upon himself to "rename" Harlem, NY as ATLAH (also the name of his church...go figure) which stands for "All The Land Anointed Holy". If you haven't heard of this guy then you may not understand fully the "essence of Manning". So take a look:



If you haven't been exposed to this before I bet your jaw dropped. Notice as Manning tries to hide his black hate by praising MLK Jr. and also how his standard of beauty points toward fair-skinned (and/or mixed) women such as Halle Berry and Lena Horne. This video is just one of many in which Manning attacks people out of his own jealousy. He also takes aim at fellow preachers T.D. Jakes (search for "Rent Money Dance") and Creflo Dollar (search for "Creflo Dollar is a Times Square Pimp") and none other than Oprah Winfrey.

Of course, Manning has been approached and used by Fox News as an anti-Obama voice. Naturally, he's not intelligent enough to realize that they are just using him as a tool (an Obama hating black man) and sees it as vindication for his messages. What a sad, sad way of life. Jealousy and ignorance is a very combustible combination.

IF you want more from this moron, just type in "ATLAH", "Pastor Manning", or "Idiot" in the youtube search bar (ok I made the last one up) and you will find an abundance of buffoonery...view at your own risk.

Next post...I expose another self-loather (this one may surprise you).

Ahh, that feels better.

Hammer Syndrome: Symptoms And Cures

Hopefully by now you've had the joy of watching "Hammertime" on A&E. If you're not familiar with the show, it stars none other than the "Hip-Hop legend" MC Hammer and his family. While extremely corny, it is one of my favorite new shows on tv. Mostly due to the fact that it is exceedingly entertaining to witness someone who is a: "has been", over the hill, past his prime, etc. star who seemingly is not aware of this fact. Furthermore, he carries himself in such a way that would lead you to believe that he actually believes that he still holds relevance in the public eye because of his..."musical prowess." Everything from the way he speaks, dresses, tweets, and even parents his children suggest that he thinks he's on the same level as a P. Diddy or Jay-Z if you will. He seems like a good guy with respectable morals and values which he tries to impart to his children. However, watching his various exploits, from pumping his stable of wack artists as quality talent, to his new "hit" song "I Got Gigs", to referring to his one-time concert partner (and fellow has been) Vanilla Ice as "Ice Man" reminded me of several people in the world who believe they're hotter/more important than they really are. I have diagnosed these people as having Hammer Syndrome and have divided this prolific disease into three types, all a result of having an extremely inaccurate self-image in other people's eyes. I will attempt to describe these types to the best of my ability...work with me.



Type 1: The Delusionist
Symptoms: This is the person (we all know one...or some) who think they are important in EVERYONE'S eyes. As such, they believe that general statements meant for everyone somehow pertain to only them. This is the person that often (stalks) mistakes people's facebook statuses or the like as diatribes, insults, praises meant for them. This person often fails to realize that the people they stalk incessantly, are NOT paying them any attention. They often desire to be so popular that this desire clouds their ability to realize that they're not important enough for people to make public (or private) statements about. This is the most severe type of Hammer's Syndrome, and unfortunately the most common. Often the most unattractive person in a group of friends.
Cure: IGNORE. As you would think, this person loves attention and lives by the credo that there's "no such thing as bad publicity." They feed on others reactions and responses to them and see it as validation of their "importance." No matter how difficult or how satisfying it would be you must fight the urge to stoop to their level. You will be doing them (and everyone else) a favor in the long run as eventually they will realize how irrelevant they really are to most people and fade into the background (where they belong).

Type 2: The Paranoid Delusionist
Symptoms: This is the first cousin of the type 1 case of Hammer's Syndrome, but is less severe as it usually effects only a select few instead of the general population. The paranoid delusionist is similar to the regular delusionist as their symptoms are born out of the belief that they hold a more important place in the life of the person(s) they interact with closely. This is the person that believes that someone is always lying to them without realizing that the accused person stands to neither benefit NOR suffer any lasting consequences from simply lying. The most common case is when the type 2 accuses someone of "talking" to someone else even though there is no commitment involved. This often leaves the accused in a weird position because they are forced to pretty much let the type 2 know that they're not important enough to lie to and that they have NOTHING to lose either way. However, this is rarely effective as the type 2 believes...you guessed it: that this is yet another lie. This is astoundingly frustrating for both parties.
Cure: IGNORE. You will only be wasting your time if you argue with the type 2 as they will believe any and everything you say is a lie. You can tell this person that the sky is blue and the president is mixed and they will argue with you because they (or their friends) have convinced themselves that you are a bonafide liar. The only way to deal with the type 2 is to give them time to sulk in their silliness until they realize that you don't care or that they're being a complete dufus.

Type 3: The Wackmaster General
Symptoms: This is the saddest case because this person usually has generally benevolent motives in life. They just simply are not aware of their own wackness. They think no matter where they are or who they're around that they are the star of the show. You can often find this person wearing sunglasses at night or in dark places, wearing "Du Rags" to social functions (even though they NEVER gain a wave), trying to become a "rapper" (even though they couldn't beat Roy Jones Jr. in a freestyle battle), or just generally doing the most. While they are harmless to others, they often provoke others to feel sorry for them (or to laugh at them).
Cure: There is no known cure for wackness at this time. Sorry.

So as you can see, Hammer's Syndrome effects us all. Let's take some time out and assess ourselves as most of us fall into the first two categories at some point in life, but only YOU can stop it before it happens. If you or someone you know is suffering from Hammer's Syndrome, please isolate the problem and fix it before this person can become contagious. Again, things are never as good or as bad as they seem.

Ahh, that feels better.

My Top 15 Favorite Youtube Videos (Part 3)

As the title suggests, I've selected my top 15 videos on youtube. These are either outrageous, hilarious, crazy and most times all three. To build the suspense, I've decided to break the videos up into 3 separate posts. This second installment will showcase videos 5-1. I'm sure you're familiar with some of these, but if not make sure to watch the whole video as sometimes the subtle things are the funniest. Without further delay...



5. Reporters Can't Stop Laughing



Commentary: She had the soggiest ankles ever.


4. Grape Fall



Commentary: You have to fight the urge to laugh loudly in order to listen to the lady make various noises. Also, pay close attention to the reporter on the right as she tries to hold back laughter.

3. Run By



Commentary: "Oh my goodness."

2. Mr. Turner



Commentary: One of the few instances in which extreme ignorance is funny.

1. Lady Punch



Commentary: For me, the Michael Jordan of youtube videos. This is simply the G.O.A.T.!


*Bonus Videos: These are quite entertaining as well.


















I will be back to regular content tomorrow, just thought I would break the monotony with some comedy.



Ahh, that feels better.

My Top 15 Favorite Youtube Videos (Part 2)

As the title suggests, I've selected my top 15 videos on youtube. These are either outrageous, hilarious, crazy and most times all three. To build the suspense, I've decided to break the videos up into 3 separate posts. This second installment will showcase videos 10-6. I'm sure you're familiar with some of these, but if not make sure to watch the whole video as sometimes the subtle things are the funniest. Without further delay...

10. I Totally Just Farted!



Commentary: Did she think that was going to be silent?


9. Reporter Meltdowns



Commentary: Excuse the language, but this is hilarious.


8. Church Fight



Commentary: The PASTOR tried to knock her block off like she was a guy!


7. Fat Kid Slaps Mom



Commentary: I was speechless when I saw this...I can't imagine what would've happened to me...


6. The Stripper



Commentary: This is what she gets.


*Bonus Video:



Commentary: Maybe i'm cruel...but that's funny.

Ahh, that feels better.

Debt

Debt freedom...debt elimination...debt relief...we need it now!

My Top 15 Favorite Youtube Videos (Part 1)

As the title suggests, I've selected my top 15 videos on youtube. These are either outrageous, hilarious, crazy and most times all three. To build the suspense, I've decided to break the videos up into 3 separate posts. This first installment will showcase videos 15-11. I'm sure you're familiar with some of these, but if not make sure to watch the whole video as sometimes the subtle things are the funniest. Without further delay...


15. Guys Beats Up Two






Commentary: Why did that guy backslap that woman in the first place? So you mean neither one of those guys could get off ONE punch?

14. Vagina Punch




Commentary: With no sound, what do you think she said to him to make him snap? And the way she reacted, maybe he was punching her for having "masculine" parts.

13. Silent Night




Commentary: There are so many things wrong with this...I wouldn't even know where to start.

12. Ninja Flip




Commentary: Did you see him sneer before he started like "I got this"? Also, watch his afro and its movements and how he tries to finish his routine after he falls.

11. Cuba Gooding Sr. Sings the National Anthem




Commentary: Why do black people always add words to songs? Not only did he mess the words up, but watch how tickled he was with himself when he finished.

*BONUS VIDEO: This is crazy...




Commentary: Wow.



That's all for now, the second installment is coming soon.



Ahh, that feels better.

"It's A Recession..." The New Black

First, I would just like to thank all those who have supported the blog thus far. I now have had well over a 1,000 hits since I started last Monday. I didn't expect all the positive feedback that I have gotten and if you keep reading, I will keep writing. With that said...on to today's topic.

Have you noticed how fast "it's a recession" has become everyone's favorite quote, excuse, sentence filler, etc.? People have seriously found a way to use this one liner in nearly every situation imaginable. You can ask someone almost any kind of question and there's probably about a 50/50 chance that they're going to say something about the recession (maybe I just have bad luck with these encounters). But i'm pretty sure i'm not the only one who's experienced this new phenomenon. So I compiled a list of incidents involving the use (or misuse) of the phrase that I've witnessed personally (some true and some not, see if you can tell the difference).

• Question:"So are you growing your hair out or you just need a haircut?" Answer: "Man...it's a recession out here."
• Q: "Why are the Cavs getting beat like this?" A: "It's a recession...everybody is out here struggling."
• Q: "Hahahaha, why are you talking to her dude?" A: "It's a recession...I gotta take what I can get these days."
• Q: "Do you want to go to the midnight showing of Transformers?" A: "No way...i'm waiting until it's on the Five Buck Club, it's a recession."
• Q: "Does your internet work?" A: "Not right now, probably because of the recession."
• Q: "Did you hear that the pretzel place in the mall got rid of the Glazin' Raisin?!?!" A: "Are you kidding me?? I guess the recession claimed another victim."
• Q: "Wow, i've never seen you try this hard in a class before. I guess you're turning over a new leaf huh?" A: "Nah, it's a recession."
• Q: "Man, why do you have one ply toilet paper in your bathroom. You know you're not in prison right?" A: "Yeah, but I also know it's a recession and that brand is only .88 cents!"
• Q: "Why were the birds chirping so loud outside of my window this morning!!??" A: "Because it's a recession and they want you to wake up to go to work!"
• Q: "Why are your friend's hands so dry and hard? They feel like construction worker's hands!" A: "Hey, hey, it's a recession."

Ok, I think you get the point (LOL). This phrase does not explain EVERYTHING! Stop using it to explain your own silliness or shortcomings or even because you don't know the real answer to a question. Just like with the anthrax outbreak years ago and the swine flu outbreak more recently, we have a tendency to overdo it. Everytime somebody coughed a few weeks ago, somebody inevitably said something like: "Uggghh, you got swine flu!" NO SIMPLETON, my throat is dry! SHUT UP. Maybe it was funny the first hundred times someone said it, but trust by the time YOU say it, it's more stale than crackers that sat out opened overnight.

But on a serious note, the recession is real...we need relief and now...OBAMA! Stop throwing out first pitches at All-Star games and pitch an idea (that will get passed by congress) to get us out of debt! The honeymoon period is over! Yes we did...but now it's time for you to do something so we can get you re-elected! No better place than to help get your people out of debt so we can go back to getting regular haircuts and buying quality lotion.

Ahh, that feels better.

A Tiger Can't Change Its Stripes...And Neither Can You!

Ok, straight to the point today. This post is for all those who become Greek and suddenly think they're the hottest thing since sliced bread. And no i'm not talking about anyone in particular...but if the shoe fits...wear it. Having experienced the transition from non-Greek to Greek personally, I know what it feels like to suddenly have your popularity increased exponentially seemingly overnight (for some LOL). But...i'm here to let you know that if you were a lamester before you were Greek...you're still a lamester after you become Greek, now you just wear letters. If anything this makes you more lame because you somehow thought (or still think) that now you're something or someone that you're not. If you watch those who get the big head after crossing, you can bet your bottom dollar that they were a relative NOBODY before. The symptoms of success are a surefire sign that being popular is a new phenomenom to this person, and no organization is excluded.

To use a sports reference, when players who RARELY score a touchdown or hit a shot finally do so, they over celebrate. Which in turn prompts the players around them who are used to excelling to tell them to "act like you've been here before." So to all those people who found their swag in the same place you got your letters...you're still wack. And now you're making your organization look wack. Stay in your pocket and be true to yourself. Bask in your accomplishment because most of the time it's not easy, but DO NOT, I repeat DO NOT act like you're a rockstar. Somewhere off to the side there's someone laughing at you because they've been there done that before they were greek.

As Jay-Z once said: "No matter where you go, you are what you are player. And you can try to change but that's just the top layer. Man, you was who you was before you got here..."

If this post offends you...then i'm probably talking about you.

Ahh, that feels better.

Somebody Tell BET To STOP Insulting My Intelligence (Part 2)

So yesterday I went on quite a lengthy rant about my discontent with BET. I promise to try to be concise and limit my words. Key word: try. Before I get going on the BET awards as promised, I must make it clear that I did not watch the entire show. I couldn't. I LITERALLY got sick to my stomach and angry to the point that the veins in my temple began pulsating. That's how much I HATE BET. I know, I know it sounds extreme and you probably think i'm being dramatic. That's fine and I would usually agree with you...but not this time. If you're not offended by large groups of black people acting a fool in public then shame on you...let alone on national TV. But then again, I bet you're the kind of person that still enjoys Black Expose'...I mean Expo for all the wrong reasons. But I digress...two words I would use to describe these "awards" are simple: crappy and crude.

First off, everything about what I saw was poorly performed, organized, edited, and planned in general. If you're going to put on an outrageous spectacle, you could at least make sure that the organization and execution is up to par. The performances as a whole were very average. I love Jamie Foxx, but he was way over the top as he did something that he usually doesn't do which is try to be funny. He was all over the place, maybe due to the fact that he had a new outfit on every segment. I understand the attempt to honor Michael Jackson (which I will touch on more in a moment) but the way this was done was very contrived and unnatural. So in summary, the first issue that began raising my body temperature in disgust was the quality of the awards. Let's move on to the bigger issue which is...(drum roll please) the crude and IGNORANT people.

Now, like I said before I didn't watch the whole show, but in the short amount of time I did suffer through it, I saw enough to get the point: opulence and comedy is all black people are good for. The one segment in which they threw classy black America a bone lasted for about 1 minute in which they honored the black doctors who grew up together and were each other's support system. A great story except...THEY DIDN'T EVEN LET THEM SPEAK! Out of all the uneducated crude people to get on the microphone that night, they didn't even let real hardwork and dedication shine! This was the breaking point for me (and Beyonce's heinous and mundane performance). Even though they were trying to provide a break from the coonery, it was a huge slap in the face as we're bombarded with T. Pain's top hat charades non-stop but we only get a glimpse of truly inspirational individuals for approximately 1 minute right after a commercial break. Again, maybe i'm reading too much into it and I should just put my brain on hold when watching things like this, but that's not in my nature. Sorry BET and whoever else. In the interest of not rambling, I'm just going to summarize my feelings with an acronym for what BET really is...no not the ever popular Black Exploitation Television (even though that's very appropriate). But an original one (I like acronyms). From this point on BET to me means Beyond Embarrassing and Tacky (yeah I added the and, so what?). Now, substitute that for BET and we witnessed the Beyond Embarrassing and Tacky Awards. Sounds good to me.

Now, to the whole Michael Jackson thing. I respect and love Michael Jackson for who he was and as such think that honoring him is appropriate...if done with the proper perspective. It's hard for me to get really super duper sad like most other people...because of other people. Let me explain. It's very irritating to me when someone dies and EVERYONE acts like they were the biggest fan of the deceased person. People weren't paying him ANY ATTENTION for the past decade pretty much. We laughed when he went to court dressed like Captain Crunch, we weren't sad that he was in trouble again. We made countless jokes and shook our head that he gave some kid wine to get him tipsy and called it "Jesus Juice". Nearly NO ONE bought the album he released with the number ones and some remixes or whatever (as you can see I didn't either) within the past 2 years. He died millions of dollars in debt because PEOPLE STOPPED SUPPORTING HIM. So then he dies and suddenly you can't find his music or paraphenalia anywhere because it's sold out. Let's stop and think about it before everyone claims to have "loved" him their whole life. It's sad and he will be missed and his contributions to the world are undeniable. But give me a freakin' break. Some of you don't get this sad when your family members die, but that's your business. All i'm saying is if we really cherish these figures we should act like it BEFORE they die. Kanye West said it best: "People never get the flowers while they can still smell 'em." Take it as a learning experience, I for one will be crushed when my childhood hero dies (Michael Jordan), that's why I proclaim and defend his greatness NOW.

Alright, enough angry rants...maybe something funny tomorrow.

Ahh, that feels better.

Somebody Tell BET To STOP Insulting My Intelligence (Part 1)

Do you remember what BET used to be? Do you remember Teen Summit? Do you remember when BET had a conscience? From my understanding, BET's original goal was to give the marginalized black community a chance to showcase its vast talents in an under represented industry. Now, one of two things has happened since its inception. Either the aforementioned black community has become supremely untalented, or BET has sold its soul to the devil. For the sake of my sanity, i'm going to choose to believe the latter over the former. Don't get me wrong, BET is still a major source of black representation on TV; that is an undeniable (unfortunate) fact. But words cannot express how absolutely horrendous their selection of programming material truly is...but I'll try anyway.

BET's Wackbuster...i'm sorry Blackbuster Movie is usually a low budget, low quality, showing of an IGNORANT movie that when watched feels like cruel and unusual punishment. Seriously, instead of employing whatever illegal practices are in place to torture terrorists or whomever, just make them watch 3 Strikes over and over and over and over again. No, better yet how about Three Can Play That Game (we aren't even worthy of TWO CAN PLAY THAT GAME!) or even that one movie with LisaRaye and others as ghetto, loose cowgirls (Who knows what that vomitous movie is called?) The list could go on and on, but my question is who does BET think they're fooling? Ever since Bob Johnson sold the company to Viacom, it has taken a downturn similar to what George Bush did to the country once he got elected for the second time and realized that since he doesn't have to worry about getting re-elected anymore he doesn't even have to try. Viacom owns MTV, Nickelodeon, and a host of other successful (quality) networks. Do you think its coincidence that they have run BET into the ground while MTV has continued to flourish? I think not.

Sadly, it's not all their fault. It's OUR fault for continuing to watch their poo poo platter of coonery. Why would they give a show to the INsignificant others of Lil' Wayne and T.I.? I'll tell you why, because these two hoodrats are so ineloquent and ridiculous that they're "entertaining" to some. Because they know that millions of blacks and whites alike will tune in for another episode of T.I.'s terrible wife and Lil' Wayne's leftovers make fools of themselves. Why do they continue to find priceless works of art like "The Boot" (or whatever that show is called)? Or how about the fact that all of the sitcoms they have the right to show have been recycled so many times by other networks (and BET since they show 5 episodes of the same show everyday!) How many other channels have blessed us with the opportunity to watch "gems" like "Sister, Sister" before BET? Like three or four. Yet and still we watch...and watch...and watch some more. Why? Because it's BET! It's OUR channel! Or not...it's time to let BET go. I know as black people we have a tendency to stay loyal to people and things that once meant something to us, even after they spit (or peed) in our face (ahem, for example: O.J. Simpson, Michael Vick, R. Kelly), but that's a dangerous and misguided trend. Get some standards and demand responsibility from the things and people we hold so near and dear to us. Otherwise, we're just going to be like that girl that we all know who gets cheated on repeatedly, slapped around, and refuses to move on because they don't think they can do better...or they "love him"...or they're just plain stupid. Give me a break.

Even the fact that they only show religious programming in the wee hours of the night upsets me. Now i'm not saying that I would watch televangelists from mega churches across the land preach. I wouldn't, it puts me to sleep. But Church is (or used to be) the backbone of the black community. STOP subjugating these programs to the graveyard shift when very few people are watching. For my money, one of the best things BET has to offer is the screaming of Pastor Kerney Thomas (If you don't believe me, fall asleep with BET on and see if he doesn't wake you up at about 4AM).

All I want is an accurate portrayal of what black people really are in this country. We're intelligent, we're refined and sophisticated and we deserve to have these qualities catered to by OUR channel. And until that happens...

I HATE BET. (Tomorrow: Part 2: The BET Awards)

Ahh, that feels better.

Oil And Water

Today's post is going to be short and sweet (sorry to disappoint). Have you ever seen how when oil and water meet they separate and don't mix at all? Well, I've decided that certain black people and prioritizing have the SAME kind of relationship. Walking around melting in 85 degree+ temperatures today delivering late rent notices made me question why it's so hard for people to prioritize? Most college students receive some sort of refund check, which they often use to stunt and front like they're "ballin'". GROW UP. Pay your rent loser.

There's no reason for you to have an eviction on your record before you even finish school. Seriously...how and why would you let an entire month(s) pass without paying a red cent on the place that you live? I bet you got those Jordans though huh? You manage to spend money on frivolous things like liquor, road trips, or any number of unnecessary items but you can't find the money to keep a roof over your head? Let's see, an eviction ruins your credit AND your rental history (meaning most places will not allow you to lease, buy, rent in your name for oh...about SEVEN YEARS), not to mention the credit of whoever you bamboozled into co-signing/guaranteeing your lease agreement.

Stop trying to "keep up with the Joneses" when you don't have the same resources. No one said life is fair, suck it up, work hard and then maybe you can become "the Joneses". Until then, you can't live a Champagne lifestyle on a Kool-Aid budget.

Sorry for the anger...but it was hot.

Ahh...that feels better.

Breaking News: Tyler Perry Hates Black People

If you haven't heard about it, you should watch CNN more! You heard it here first! Unlike George Bush before him, Tyler Perry admitted his hatred, confirming my long held suspicions. Ok, i'm joking, the whole story is fabricated. Although if he one day did come out and say something like that it wouldn't shock me in the least. How else can you account for his entire body of work? A black man who truly loves black people would never submit such GARBAGE for public consumption. I know my words might upset some people who run to the nearest movie theater every time he releases another installment in his cookie-cutter craptacular Madea franchise. Sadly, it's not only black people who put their brains on hold to ingest two hours of archaic coonery. Which for me is where the problem lies.


If his films and shows weren't so offensive and utterly ignorant (not to mention predictable), I wouldn't be mad at him for trying to get paid. Even more upsetting is the fact that he has shown the ability to make films without Madea (Daddy's Little Girls, Why Did I Get Married?). Now, although these movies are definitely cheesy, they're actually respectable. Sidebar: Does anyone else feel like he seems unnatural playing a masculine role? It seems like he has to act to act like a man. But I digress. As I said before, the problem for me lies in the fact that his brand of "entertainment" exposes generations and races to centuries old stereotypes of oppressed black people (Madea=Mammy, Brown=Coon for example). Which in turn functions as an outlet for closet racists to satisfy their embedded desire to see black people make fools out of themselves, and dismiss it as good clean light-hearted entertainment. Call me militant, I call you an idiot (LOL).


Check this out:





Are you kidding me??? The only difference is Perry is employing a real black guy instead of a white man with face paint. The similarity is striking huh? What level of love for money or hidden self loathing is required to produce such rubbish? I admit, every once in a BLACK moon his 21st Century minstrel show has a moment of comedy. But when I think about laughing, i'm forced to consider the source which usually leads to anger, a channel change, or maybe both (NEVER would I pay to see anything he does...besides maybe getting slapped by ancestors).


Realistically I know that this post alone isn't enough to put him out of business, and I don't even know if I want it to. I'm all for black people making lots of money, even if they waste it on stupid things (like buying OPRAH a BENTLEY! Which he reportedly did). All i'm saying is put on your progressive glasses and think about the impact that he and others like him make on the image of black people. We have a greater responsibility to represent ourselves with dignity and class instead of slapstick ignorance.


As for me, I'll continue to decline my invitation to Uncle Tyler's Cabin.


Ahh, that feels better.

Lost And Found

One night a few years ago, myself and one of my roommates at the time (Shane) were bored and started making a list of things that people do that are quite ridiculous (but funny). I found the paper not too long ago and it was just as funny now as it was back then. I'm sure you'll be able to relate to some if not all of the things i'm about to mention.


When did crusty lips and bad breath start dating? Seriously, have you ever seen anyone with crusty lips who actually did NOT compliment them with bad default breath or vice versa? I'm not talking about the "oh I just smashed a Grab Bag of Doritos breath." Or even morning or basketball breath...i'm talking about your breath at its natural resting state (hence default). I'm talking about genuine "I brushed my teeth 5 minutes ago, but it still smells like I just ate a mothball sucker anyway" type breath. Don't you feel sorry for them? But at the same time I don't really understand how you could not be aware that your breath is gross. If I can smell it I KNOW you can taste it. I know when my breath is a little tart and i'm pretty sure I wasn't the only person blessed with that talent. But anyway, enough about breath.


Do you still wear Reebok Classics? Don't raise your hand or get offended. Just sit there...and GET RID OF THEM IMMEDIATELY!


When did thugs start going to college? NOT EVER. Come on now...you took the SAT. Thugs don't take standardized tests! And they definitely don't pay for them! Do you realize that if you graduate, you're going to wear a gown? What thug have you seen in a gown that wasn't a hospital gown?


So, on to the list of "Ridiculosity"...

• If you still have ringtones...stop having them tell a story about your relationship with that person. And stop letting the whole song play...we don't want to hear "You're All I Need" everytime your "Boo" calls. And stop dancing to the song too!



• Do NOT act like you're too good to speak when you see me around when you just added me as a friend on facebook yesterday.



• How do you take a shower, spray on cologne/perfume, get dressed and still let your breath stink? (that's the last breath reference I promise)



• CHIPPED NAIL POLISH! It is THE ABSOLUTE WORST!! (It's just extremely careless...either put it on or take it off. I could and should do a whole post about this.)



• The following phrases and words are oxymoronic, incorrect, or just plain silly (maybe all three): "Same difference", "I could care less", "I saw it out of my peripheal". (If you don't know what's wrong with those I guess you probably use them...no offense)



• Ladies...stop dancing so hard in the club or where ever you might be. You look ridiculous.



• Guys...stop dancing so hard in the club or where ever you might be. You look EXTRA ridiculous. Especially when you decide to battle each other like in those CORNY dancing movies. That's suspect of you.



• Ladies...please find underwear and pants that fit, big curtain cotton panties riding up to the midpoint of your back is not sexy.



• If you're the first person in class, don't sit at the end of the aisle and then get mad when people have to keep crawling over you to sit down. MOVE YOUR LEGS!



• Big people, I love you to death. But stop spilling over into my chair...its distracting. Sit at one of those tables in the back.



• If you're walking down the aisle behind me, get your butt cheeks and backpack off the back of my head. Thanks.



• Stop farting in class. Self-explanatory.



• If you see someone running to catch a bus, stop standing in the way on purpose. You're childish (LOL).



• Stop running to catch buses and beating on the side of the bus to get the driver's attention. He's going to leave you anyway.



• If you're sweaty from dancing, exercising, or just being hot...stop giving people juicy hugs. That's inconsiderate of you.



• If you see people get on the bus and you have an empty seat next to you...move your bags. You know they want to sit down.

Haha, good times...glad I found that.

Ahh...that feels better.

If You Give A Mouse A Cookie...

Growing up, one of my favorite books was the timeless classic: "If You Give A Mouse A Cookie". If you haven't been blessed with the privilege of reading it I suggest you find a way to do so ASAP.

Now you might be surprised (or might not) to find out that this remains one of my favorite pieces of literature to date. Before you dismiss this statement or stop reading this post, give me a second to explain why.


This book like so many others of its kind, holds a powerful life lesson which has helped shape my character up to now. Believe it or not (LOL) i've been described with such words as "jerk", "a-hole", "heartless", etc. (You get the point). Now while I will be the first to admit that I'm no Mr. Rogers...nor am I Adolf Hitler. I'm just a regular (somewhat) guy who refuses to pretend to like people that I don't or allow people space in my life that have proven to be unworthy. Don't blame me, blame the book!


The basic message of the book (For those of you who STILL haven't read it) is that if you give a mouse a cookie, he's going to want a glass of milk. Once you give him the milk, he's going to want a napkin. And so forth and so on. I have learned over the years that people are just like that mouse. If you give a needy person one thing ONE time, they will look to you as a constant resource. Now, i'm all for being helpful, but there is a fine line between being helpful and being used. I guess you could say that I have a heightened sense of this after watching people get taken advantage of in nearly every way imaginable. And as a result, I tend to tell people NO! Then decide if I will help them, instead of giving a half-hearted yes only to stand that person up or back out at the last minute. I wonder...if that gets me called a jerk then what do you call people who just say yes because it sounds good? Wouldn't you rather get a pleasant surprise than an unexpected disappointment?


I guess the world is made better by people who go out of their way to help any and everyone at any cost, but as my mother always says: "I help those that are trying to help themselves." So with that said, to whom it applies: stop being annoying and getting mad at people because they don't do or give you everything you ask for! Self-reliance is a beautiful thing.



"Define yourself for yourself or when you're by yourself you just might lose yourself." -The Ryan

Ahh...that feels better.

I. b.e. u.p. o.n. t.h.A.t.!

For the first post, I guess I should provide some background. I was inspired to start this blog out of the need to speak on (vent) issues that I witness personally that make me shake my head in anger, disgust, disbelief, or even laughter. This is not simply a negative commentary on society...contrary to popular belief i'm really an optimist. That optimism is however seasoned with some measure of skepticism (realism). So take everything you read in this blog with a grain of salt. As my now infamous quotes goes: "SENSITIVITY SUCKS!"

Now that the formalities are out of the way, I guess I'll start by explaining the acronym which is currently the title of the blog. Without further delay, (I know the suspense is building) the acronym means: Ignorant Behavior Explicitly Undermines Potential Of Negroes That Have ANY Tact.

A few recent public displays of ignorance have upset me beyond healthy levels, which on the surface seem rather inconsequential. But deep down, these shenanigans (the BET Awards for example) struck a chord in me that caused me to pretty much walk away to calm down. I guess the older I get, the more I see how blatantly classless, tasteless, and IGNORANT, amongst any number of other unsavory descriptives that one might use to classify such public spectacles. Not only do I feel like black people are sent in reverse everytime such non-sense airs, but it's just plain LAME.

I will speak on BET more in depth later on, but that's just the example i'm using to explain the acronym. I chose such an "Ebonical" phrase to exemplify the true nature of SOME people that should probably chill out seeking attention until they fully understand the relationship between nouns, verbs, adjectives, and all the other elementary grammar elements that we learned (or should have) so many years ago. At the risk of sounding like Bill Cosby (a grouchy sell-out at this point), something needs to change or else we will continue to fall by the wayside.

P.S...being/getting "ratchet" is not something to celebrate. EVER.

Ahh...that feels better.