I'm back from hiatus (LOL), but first and foremost I would encourage everyone to take a look at my brother's blog at http://www.kingdomson3.blogspot.com/. While my blog is entertaining, his probably has something you NEED. Now, on to today's post.
I'm sure everyone out there has either read the Boondocks comic strip or seen the show on Cartoon Network and if you haven't then shame on you. One of the main characters is a self-loathing black guy who hates everything Black. Calling him a sell-out would be a gross understatement as he goes so far to convince himself that he's truly a white man (even though his skin is black as night) suffering from a case of "re-vitoligo" which he states is "the opposite of what Michael Jackson got." Obviously the creator of the Boondocks, Aaron McGruder uses this extremely outlandish and crass character as an avenue to make a commentary on blacks who hate themselves and let that hate dictate what they say, how they act, and how they think.
Unfortunately...we have been blessed with the presence of a real live Uncle Ruckus, who is so outrageous that he makes you wonder aloud if he's indeed serious about what he says (he is). His main target (arch nemesis) is none other than Barack Obama and his wife Michelle (whom he refers to as Jezebel on more than one occasion). He believes Obama to be the anti-Christ and the product of a "white trashy mother". All the more surprising (or may be not) is that Manning spews his "ridiculosity" from the pulpit of his own church (cult). He took it upon himself to "rename" Harlem, NY as ATLAH (also the name of his church...go figure) which stands for "All The Land Anointed Holy". If you haven't heard of this guy then you may not understand fully the "essence of Manning". So take a look:
If you haven't been exposed to this before I bet your jaw dropped. Notice as Manning tries to hide his black hate by praising MLK Jr. and also how his standard of beauty points toward fair-skinned (and/or mixed) women such as Halle Berry and Lena Horne. This video is just one of many in which Manning attacks people out of his own jealousy. He also takes aim at fellow preachers T.D. Jakes (search for "Rent Money Dance") and Creflo Dollar (search for "Creflo Dollar is a Times Square Pimp") and none other than Oprah Winfrey.
Of course, Manning has been approached and used by Fox News as an anti-Obama voice. Naturally, he's not intelligent enough to realize that they are just using him as a tool (an Obama hating black man) and sees it as vindication for his messages. What a sad, sad way of life. Jealousy and ignorance is a very combustible combination.
IF you want more from this moron, just type in "ATLAH", "Pastor Manning", or "Idiot" in the youtube search bar (ok I made the last one up) and you will find an abundance of buffoonery...view at your own risk.
Next post...I expose another self-loather (this one may surprise you).
Ahh, that feels better.
Monday, July 27, 2009
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Hammer Syndrome: Symptoms And Cures
Hopefully by now you've had the joy of watching "Hammertime" on A&E. If you're not familiar with the show, it stars none other than the "Hip-Hop legend" MC Hammer and his family. While extremely corny, it is one of my favorite new shows on tv. Mostly due to the fact that it is exceedingly entertaining to witness someone who is a: "has been", over the hill, past his prime, etc. star who seemingly is not aware of this fact. Furthermore, he carries himself in such a way that would lead you to believe that he actually believes that he still holds relevance in the public eye because of his..."musical prowess." Everything from the way he speaks, dresses, tweets, and even parents his children suggest that he thinks he's on the same level as a P. Diddy or Jay-Z if you will. He seems like a good guy with respectable morals and values which he tries to impart to his children. However, watching his various exploits, from pumping his stable of wack artists as quality talent, to his new "hit" song "I Got Gigs", to referring to his one-time concert partner (and fellow has been) Vanilla Ice as "Ice Man" reminded me of several people in the world who believe they're hotter/more important than they really are. I have diagnosed these people as having Hammer Syndrome and have divided this prolific disease into three types, all a result of having an extremely inaccurate self-image in other people's eyes. I will attempt to describe these types to the best of my ability...work with me.
Type 1: The Delusionist
Symptoms: This is the person (we all know one...or some) who think they are important in EVERYONE'S eyes. As such, they believe that general statements meant for everyone somehow pertain to only them. This is the person that often (stalks) mistakes people's facebook statuses or the like as diatribes, insults, praises meant for them. This person often fails to realize that the people they stalk incessantly, are NOT paying them any attention. They often desire to be so popular that this desire clouds their ability to realize that they're not important enough for people to make public (or private) statements about. This is the most severe type of Hammer's Syndrome, and unfortunately the most common. Often the most unattractive person in a group of friends.
Cure: IGNORE. As you would think, this person loves attention and lives by the credo that there's "no such thing as bad publicity." They feed on others reactions and responses to them and see it as validation of their "importance." No matter how difficult or how satisfying it would be you must fight the urge to stoop to their level. You will be doing them (and everyone else) a favor in the long run as eventually they will realize how irrelevant they really are to most people and fade into the background (where they belong).
Type 2: The Paranoid Delusionist
Symptoms: This is the first cousin of the type 1 case of Hammer's Syndrome, but is less severe as it usually effects only a select few instead of the general population. The paranoid delusionist is similar to the regular delusionist as their symptoms are born out of the belief that they hold a more important place in the life of the person(s) they interact with closely. This is the person that believes that someone is always lying to them without realizing that the accused person stands to neither benefit NOR suffer any lasting consequences from simply lying. The most common case is when the type 2 accuses someone of "talking" to someone else even though there is no commitment involved. This often leaves the accused in a weird position because they are forced to pretty much let the type 2 know that they're not important enough to lie to and that they have NOTHING to lose either way. However, this is rarely effective as the type 2 believes...you guessed it: that this is yet another lie. This is astoundingly frustrating for both parties.
Cure: IGNORE. You will only be wasting your time if you argue with the type 2 as they will believe any and everything you say is a lie. You can tell this person that the sky is blue and the president is mixed and they will argue with you because they (or their friends) have convinced themselves that you are a bonafide liar. The only way to deal with the type 2 is to give them time to sulk in their silliness until they realize that you don't care or that they're being a complete dufus.
Type 3: The Wackmaster General
Symptoms: This is the saddest case because this person usually has generally benevolent motives in life. They just simply are not aware of their own wackness. They think no matter where they are or who they're around that they are the star of the show. You can often find this person wearing sunglasses at night or in dark places, wearing "Du Rags" to social functions (even though they NEVER gain a wave), trying to become a "rapper" (even though they couldn't beat Roy Jones Jr. in a freestyle battle), or just generally doing the most. While they are harmless to others, they often provoke others to feel sorry for them (or to laugh at them).
Cure: There is no known cure for wackness at this time. Sorry.
So as you can see, Hammer's Syndrome effects us all. Let's take some time out and assess ourselves as most of us fall into the first two categories at some point in life, but only YOU can stop it before it happens. If you or someone you know is suffering from Hammer's Syndrome, please isolate the problem and fix it before this person can become contagious. Again, things are never as good or as bad as they seem.
Ahh, that feels better.
Type 1: The Delusionist
Symptoms: This is the person (we all know one...or some) who think they are important in EVERYONE'S eyes. As such, they believe that general statements meant for everyone somehow pertain to only them. This is the person that often (stalks) mistakes people's facebook statuses or the like as diatribes, insults, praises meant for them. This person often fails to realize that the people they stalk incessantly, are NOT paying them any attention. They often desire to be so popular that this desire clouds their ability to realize that they're not important enough for people to make public (or private) statements about. This is the most severe type of Hammer's Syndrome, and unfortunately the most common. Often the most unattractive person in a group of friends.
Cure: IGNORE. As you would think, this person loves attention and lives by the credo that there's "no such thing as bad publicity." They feed on others reactions and responses to them and see it as validation of their "importance." No matter how difficult or how satisfying it would be you must fight the urge to stoop to their level. You will be doing them (and everyone else) a favor in the long run as eventually they will realize how irrelevant they really are to most people and fade into the background (where they belong).
Type 2: The Paranoid Delusionist
Symptoms: This is the first cousin of the type 1 case of Hammer's Syndrome, but is less severe as it usually effects only a select few instead of the general population. The paranoid delusionist is similar to the regular delusionist as their symptoms are born out of the belief that they hold a more important place in the life of the person(s) they interact with closely. This is the person that believes that someone is always lying to them without realizing that the accused person stands to neither benefit NOR suffer any lasting consequences from simply lying. The most common case is when the type 2 accuses someone of "talking" to someone else even though there is no commitment involved. This often leaves the accused in a weird position because they are forced to pretty much let the type 2 know that they're not important enough to lie to and that they have NOTHING to lose either way. However, this is rarely effective as the type 2 believes...you guessed it: that this is yet another lie. This is astoundingly frustrating for both parties.
Cure: IGNORE. You will only be wasting your time if you argue with the type 2 as they will believe any and everything you say is a lie. You can tell this person that the sky is blue and the president is mixed and they will argue with you because they (or their friends) have convinced themselves that you are a bonafide liar. The only way to deal with the type 2 is to give them time to sulk in their silliness until they realize that you don't care or that they're being a complete dufus.
Type 3: The Wackmaster General
Symptoms: This is the saddest case because this person usually has generally benevolent motives in life. They just simply are not aware of their own wackness. They think no matter where they are or who they're around that they are the star of the show. You can often find this person wearing sunglasses at night or in dark places, wearing "Du Rags" to social functions (even though they NEVER gain a wave), trying to become a "rapper" (even though they couldn't beat Roy Jones Jr. in a freestyle battle), or just generally doing the most. While they are harmless to others, they often provoke others to feel sorry for them (or to laugh at them).
Cure: There is no known cure for wackness at this time. Sorry.
So as you can see, Hammer's Syndrome effects us all. Let's take some time out and assess ourselves as most of us fall into the first two categories at some point in life, but only YOU can stop it before it happens. If you or someone you know is suffering from Hammer's Syndrome, please isolate the problem and fix it before this person can become contagious. Again, things are never as good or as bad as they seem.
Ahh, that feels better.
Sunday, July 19, 2009
My Top 15 Favorite Youtube Videos (Part 3)
As the title suggests, I've selected my top 15 videos on youtube. These are either outrageous, hilarious, crazy and most times all three. To build the suspense, I've decided to break the videos up into 3 separate posts. This second installment will showcase videos 5-1. I'm sure you're familiar with some of these, but if not make sure to watch the whole video as sometimes the subtle things are the funniest. Without further delay...
5. Reporters Can't Stop Laughing
Commentary: She had the soggiest ankles ever.
4. Grape Fall
Commentary: You have to fight the urge to laugh loudly in order to listen to the lady make various noises. Also, pay close attention to the reporter on the right as she tries to hold back laughter.
3. Run By
Commentary: "Oh my goodness."
2. Mr. Turner
Commentary: One of the few instances in which extreme ignorance is funny.
1. Lady Punch
Commentary: For me, the Michael Jordan of youtube videos. This is simply the G.O.A.T.!
*Bonus Videos: These are quite entertaining as well.
I will be back to regular content tomorrow, just thought I would break the monotony with some comedy.
Ahh, that feels better.
5. Reporters Can't Stop Laughing
Commentary: She had the soggiest ankles ever.
4. Grape Fall
Commentary: You have to fight the urge to laugh loudly in order to listen to the lady make various noises. Also, pay close attention to the reporter on the right as she tries to hold back laughter.
3. Run By
Commentary: "Oh my goodness."
2. Mr. Turner
Commentary: One of the few instances in which extreme ignorance is funny.
1. Lady Punch
Commentary: For me, the Michael Jordan of youtube videos. This is simply the G.O.A.T.!
*Bonus Videos: These are quite entertaining as well.
I will be back to regular content tomorrow, just thought I would break the monotony with some comedy.
Ahh, that feels better.
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