Lost And Found

One night a few years ago, myself and one of my roommates at the time (Shane) were bored and started making a list of things that people do that are quite ridiculous (but funny). I found the paper not too long ago and it was just as funny now as it was back then. I'm sure you'll be able to relate to some if not all of the things i'm about to mention.


When did crusty lips and bad breath start dating? Seriously, have you ever seen anyone with crusty lips who actually did NOT compliment them with bad default breath or vice versa? I'm not talking about the "oh I just smashed a Grab Bag of Doritos breath." Or even morning or basketball breath...i'm talking about your breath at its natural resting state (hence default). I'm talking about genuine "I brushed my teeth 5 minutes ago, but it still smells like I just ate a mothball sucker anyway" type breath. Don't you feel sorry for them? But at the same time I don't really understand how you could not be aware that your breath is gross. If I can smell it I KNOW you can taste it. I know when my breath is a little tart and i'm pretty sure I wasn't the only person blessed with that talent. But anyway, enough about breath.


Do you still wear Reebok Classics? Don't raise your hand or get offended. Just sit there...and GET RID OF THEM IMMEDIATELY!


When did thugs start going to college? NOT EVER. Come on now...you took the SAT. Thugs don't take standardized tests! And they definitely don't pay for them! Do you realize that if you graduate, you're going to wear a gown? What thug have you seen in a gown that wasn't a hospital gown?


So, on to the list of "Ridiculosity"...

• If you still have ringtones...stop having them tell a story about your relationship with that person. And stop letting the whole song play...we don't want to hear "You're All I Need" everytime your "Boo" calls. And stop dancing to the song too!



• Do NOT act like you're too good to speak when you see me around when you just added me as a friend on facebook yesterday.



• How do you take a shower, spray on cologne/perfume, get dressed and still let your breath stink? (that's the last breath reference I promise)



• CHIPPED NAIL POLISH! It is THE ABSOLUTE WORST!! (It's just extremely careless...either put it on or take it off. I could and should do a whole post about this.)



• The following phrases and words are oxymoronic, incorrect, or just plain silly (maybe all three): "Same difference", "I could care less", "I saw it out of my peripheal". (If you don't know what's wrong with those I guess you probably use them...no offense)



• Ladies...stop dancing so hard in the club or where ever you might be. You look ridiculous.



• Guys...stop dancing so hard in the club or where ever you might be. You look EXTRA ridiculous. Especially when you decide to battle each other like in those CORNY dancing movies. That's suspect of you.



• Ladies...please find underwear and pants that fit, big curtain cotton panties riding up to the midpoint of your back is not sexy.



• If you're the first person in class, don't sit at the end of the aisle and then get mad when people have to keep crawling over you to sit down. MOVE YOUR LEGS!



• Big people, I love you to death. But stop spilling over into my chair...its distracting. Sit at one of those tables in the back.



• If you're walking down the aisle behind me, get your butt cheeks and backpack off the back of my head. Thanks.



• Stop farting in class. Self-explanatory.



• If you see someone running to catch a bus, stop standing in the way on purpose. You're childish (LOL).



• Stop running to catch buses and beating on the side of the bus to get the driver's attention. He's going to leave you anyway.



• If you're sweaty from dancing, exercising, or just being hot...stop giving people juicy hugs. That's inconsiderate of you.



• If you see people get on the bus and you have an empty seat next to you...move your bags. You know they want to sit down.

Haha, good times...glad I found that.

Ahh...that feels better.